a short conversation

ok, this conversation between Josiah and Tobin JUST happened 2 minutes ago.

We live near some railroad tracks and hear trains go by all the time. Although, none has been by recently. But I guess this is just what Josiah was thinking on.

Josiah is standing at the window in the office.

Josiah: Bye train Bye! (repeatedly for a couple minutes)

In comes Tobin. He listens for a second then says to Josiah.

Tobin: The train isn't going bye bye it's not at Java J's (because after the train goes near our house, it passes by Java J's and vice versa, so Tobin has it all figured out)

Josiah: bye bye...

Tobin: We aren't going bye bye right now and the train isn't going anywhere Siah

I just enjoy my children being able to have a conversation with each other! It's such a delight!

Josiah with his hot chocolate gotee! :-)

Tobin drinking hot chocolate out of a real mug! Kind of scary...but he did really well!

I know what I want to write and I know what I need to write. It's just finding the words to describe my emotions, feelings.....reality.
My grandmother is DEAD. I'm in shock, I mean, I've cried, I still cry. But it still hasn't hit home. Yes, it is so much better for her to not be suffering any longer. I find solace in that. And most importantly in the fact that she believed that Jesus is the only way to God and lived her life accordingly.
But reality is, it hurts, it's hard. My precious boys were barely beginning to know Nanny. She loved them so and said that they were her babies and they were 'just what we needed' in this family.
Memories flood my heart and I just wanted them to be able to share those with their great grandmother...because she was still a young great-grandmother at 73.
It's still just hard to think that she isn't here any more.
Her house is just not the same without her. Everything there is a reminder of who she was and how she lived.
Even though for the past few years her frail body was in pain, she remained joyful, laughing, smiling with the hope of getting better. There was so much she was looking forward to. So much we wanted to do with her.

*11/17 the above was written a couple weeks ago.
It's still hard to grasp...
just remember...family is family...spend time with them, love them, appreciate them and all their idiosyncrasies...for like everyone...our days are numbered...and you don't know how long that is. (ps 139:16)

I was helping Matthew find the lyrics/chords to this song. It so moved me that I had to post it here.

Come Ye Sinners

Come, ye sinners, poor and needy
Weak and wounded, sick and sore
Jesus ready, stands to save you
Full of pity, love and power

I will arise and go to Jesus
He will embrace me in His arms
In the arms of my dear Savior,
O, there are ten thousand charms

Come, ye thirsty, come and welcome
God's free bounty glorify
True belief and true repentance
Every grace that brings you nigh

Come, ye weary, heavy-laden
Lost and ruined by the fall
If you tarry 'til you're better
You will never come at all

I will arise and go to Jesus
He will embrace me in His arms
In the arms of my dear Savior,
O, there are ten thousand charms

See Him Prostate in the garden
On the ground your Maker lies
On the bloody tree, behold him
Sinner, will this not suffice?"

Lo! the incarnate God ascended
Pleads the merit of his blood
Venture on him, venture wholly
Let no other trust intrude

I will arise and go to Jesus
He will embrace me in His arms
In the arms of my dear Savior,
O, there are ten thousand charms

my rescuer :-)

we are all moved and settling into our home...which I promise I will update more on later...and even put some pics....but i HAD to put this in so I wouldn't forget it.

This has been a usual morning in the Chambers home. Tobin and Josiah up, fed, diapers changed, dressed and playing in their room. It has also been an unusual morning in the fact that Tobin hasn't been as nice to Josiah as he has been for awhile now. So, I have had to been more firm with him this morning then in long time. It has been tough having to be on his behavior all morning. Quite exhausting, actually. Anyway, to the story.

I was busying my self straightening up the boys room while they played. Picking up clothes, opening the blinds, straightening beds. Then I went to take diapers outside to the trash. As I walked out the door, I noticed, that it had closed all the way. So I dump the diapers in the trash and turn around to go inside but the door is locked. The boys are in the house, my cell phone and my keys. For a split second, I panic. Then I start knocking on the door. But realizing that the boys have no clue that I even walked outside, won't know that I can't answer it. So I run around to the side of the house, thankful that I had opened the blinds a few minutes before. The sun is so strong I can only see Josiahs face - smiling big smiles and saying 'Mama ous' (which is his word for outside). So I yell to Tobin, not knowing if he is even still in the room. I told him that I locked myself out and I need him to come let me in. With no acknowledgement that he even heard me, I head back to the front door and begin knocking. In a few moments, I see him walk through the dining room door into the living room. I told him to open the door in which he immediately begins trying his hardest to do but being just a little too short, can't accomplish the task. So, I told him to go get his chair in the dining room....off he goes, comes back dragging his blue chair behind him and straight to the door. He then proceeds to climb up and wrestle with the door knob. It takes him a few moments but he accomplishes the task set before him. TOBIN is my RESCUER!!

I was so proud that he stuck with the task and didn't become sidetracked or decide not to obey. It thrilled my heart so!

finally walking!! :-)

Josiah finally started walking!! The boys and I were in Florida last week...I knew that it would probably happen then! Sure enough...J still likes to crawl, as he is much faster that way, but he is toddling around more and more. It's really cute. It's amazing how walking can make him seem so much older! Ah...babies grow up too fast!

I'm currently trying to go through all of our STUFF - to hopefully move with a lot less than we have right now. It's amazing the stuff that accumulates. Some things are just hard to let go of.....

Also, I'm in LOVE with IKEA right now. Looking forward to the next trip down to purchase some items for our house. We stopped in the Atlanta store on our way back from FL on Sat. There were probably 1500 people in the store...and more than triple the items to look at. Enough to give one a headache! Planning on going on a weekday next trip down!

Life is good right now. Hoping this is a little easier season of life. :-)

a blessing....

Yesterday, the boys and I went to Krogers...this was the last stop on a list of many...they were quite tired after being out and Josiah had fallen asleep in the car. One of Tobin and Josiah's favorite things about Kroger's, is the race car shopping cart. They both love to sit in and pretend to drive around the store while I shop. It's nice because the seats are located at the top part of the cart so it is really easy to keep an eye on them. Anyway, Josiah wouldn't wake up for anything, so I carried his sleeping, limp body over the whole store while pushing Tobin in the enormous race cart. (I'm sure it was a sight to see! haha)
I finished my few purchases and headed to the check out...Josiah finally decides that it is time to wake up and immediately notices the cart and can't wait to get behind his own steering wheel! Thankful for the break, I buckle him in and he goes to town...haha. Since this was at the very end our trip, the next step was to put the cart back, in which Josiah screams and throws a fit at being removed from his beloved cart. So, I'm carrying a tantrum throwing 14 month old, three bags of groceries and holding Tobin's hand. Praise God there was a parking space right at the door...or I don't know what I would have done. There is a point to this story...just hang in there.
Once at the van, I set the bags down on the curb and tell Tobin to wait for me right beside the van, so I could buckle the still fit throwing Josiah into his seat. As I'm struggling to get J into his seat, Tobin is busying himself removing his little rock collection from the floor of the van and straightening a box of cereal that had fallen out of the bag, back into it. He then proceeds to load the groceries into the van. All of this without one word from me. When I turned around to see what he was in the midst of doing...it blessed me beyond measure! It may seem rather insignificant or small to some of you, but to a parent, it's monumental! It is truly a treasure to see your children putting into practice things that you have tried to instill in their little hearts. The hard times of training and discipline do pay off, even with a 2 year old. It is a glimmer of hope for me that the difficult days will end and my little boy will be a man of integrity.

2 weeks is long enough...

Life happens. Time quickly comes with the sun and disappears with the moon. Day and Night. Wake and Sleep. With all the "normal" life stuff in between. (normal being in quotes, well, because, what is normal, anyway?)
Although, some out of "normal" things have happened in the past 2 weeks. First off, we are really considering buying a HOUSE!! PRAISE GOD! :-) Finally, after months (years) of longing for our own place, we think we have finally found it! It's a cute bungalow style, on one floor, with a HUGE, FENCED in, yard and lots of other little cute things. It will need a little bit of updating to our taste - but isn't that the whole point? :-)
Just the thought of owning a house has sent me into orbit! I think I've been there for the last week at least. So many decisions and choices to make. And excitement to the extreme! (Trying to keep it level, haha, tired of disappointments.)
In between all of this excitment I turned 24. Woah. First time I've written it. Makes it seem more 'official' now. Yikes. Why does every year over 20 seem like a MAJOR step?
I was blessed by a wonderful spa afternoon, an hour massage, manicure and pedicure. What a glorious, relaxing afternoon. I had lunch with my mom and sisters and my wonderful husband, planned a little get together with some friends that evening after dinner. It was fun to be with family and friends and to have a little while without having to chase after my boys!

We are preparing to go to Florida on Monday...so much to do...and at least ONE boy is sleeping! Going to try to get a few things done. TTFN!

I was reading a friends blog...about babies and such...making a decision in your mind and thinking of those that would not agree with your decision. She found freedom in knowing that the moment was more important than the schedule or routine. I wholeheartedly agree!
Just last night as I was trying to get Josiah back to sleep...our once sleeper has decided he'd rather be in Mommy's arms in the middle of the night than anywhere else...and I was struggling with the fact that I had stuff that I wanted to do, the frustration in me was mounting. Then I had a thought. I could be frustrated with this situation...or I could lay down and hold my precious baby, who is growing too fast, and enjoy the moments that I DO get to hold him and spend time with him before he is too much of a 'Big Boy' to let his Mommy hold him. So, I laid back on my bed, snuggled under the covers and held my baby close. What a sense of peace...I could relax and rest, which is really what I needed to do, and I could build an incredible memory with my son.
Life goes too fast, especially when raising children. There are times you want to 'throw in the towel', that you've 'had enough'. But it's in those times I've learned the most about myself, that I've been stretched the most and that because of Christ, been able to make it thru them and grow into a better mom and wife.
I remember the first few weeks that Tobin was in this world. Nighttimes were a struggle and I was wanting to give up so much, espcially when my DH was sleeping beside me on the bed. It occured to me how truly selfish I was. My precious Tobin just needed to be loved and cuddled and hugged and I wanted to sleep, quite frustrating! But when I realized that I could give something up that was precious to me and turn it into something more precious, memories and time with my son, then there was peace.
I have to come back to these thoughts, every so often. It's so easy to get caught up in ME and do what I want. But that's not what motherhood is all about...not how good my life can be with kids...but how good my life can be because of them and what I invest in them.
Well, Josiah is crying.......good night!

Trying to think of something to post. I'm sitting here all alone. My beautiful boys are sleeping peacefully and my DH is on his way home from Nashville. It's been a tiring weekend without him here. I almost feel as if yesterday didn't end and just continued into today which is continuing into tonight. We did have a bit of break this afternoon at a cousin's birthday at the lake. It was a really hot day and the water was soooo refreshing! Ahh... It's so much fun to see my boys having fun! Tobin's favorite thing to do is sit at the water's edge and throw rocks in the water as the wake comes crashing into him at the shoreline.
He is becoming more aware of what is happening around him...always has been somewhat...but now fears are starting to come up. It's hard to see him afraid of something...we acknowledge it is real and help him work thru it by showing him there is nothing to be afraid of and praying for him and with him. I keep telling him that Jesus loves him, even so much more than Mommy and Daddy do and that He will keep him safe. I don't want him to be careless about anything but I don't want him to be bogged down by fear either. My prayer is for wisdom in how to handle this, to help him work thru it quickly and well and to know he CAN trust Jesus, even if he doesn't fully understand it yet.
Faith like a child. How simple and unbinding. Sometimes, all the time, actually, I need to trust God more like Tobin and Josiah trust me. They take to heart what I say and learn from it. They aren't afraid to be themselves, no matter how good, bad or ugly they may act. Yet, they know my love for them will never change. They trust that I will always be there for them, in the good and in the hard situations. They know that disicipline comes when they are not obedient. They will eventually get to asking questions, but not yet. What a picture of how we can be with God. So pure, so right. How much God wants all of our relationships to be that way with him. He wants us to be us, who He created us to be, simple, trusting and unbinded.

frugality

I'm in the process of making a grocery price book. It's quite a long process and it will take awhile until it is finished. The gist of it is to have a record of prices for items that you usually buy. So that when they go on sale you will know if it really is a good deal and whether to stock up on the item or not, in the long run saving money. The people who use this way of shopping have seen tremendous savings in their grocery budget. This takes preparation, planning meals, looking at weekly sales papers, coupons and what's on hand. I'm really hoping that the food section of our budget will decrease, because, I know that I should be able to feed my family very well for less then what I'm already spending.
Matthew and I made the rounds to several stores this morning and I was quite impressed with what I was able to buy. Although, I'm afraid that in a few months I'm going to look back and see that my deals weren't as good as I thought...but it's a start and I have meals planned and a freezer full of food...for about $80 for 2 weeks! I thought that was pretty good! A start at least! (Although, I do need to go to the Farmer's Market to get veggies!)

in response to a post....

I LOVE MATTHEW! He is an awesome husband and it IS a JOY to be his WIFE.

/I'm sorry that you felt a little left out on here. ;-)

Joys of Motherhood

I guess it is time again that I should post. I've been delaying for lack of writing. I mean...there are tons of things I should write about. Like, the way Tobin gathers his little farm animals and puts them in their 'pin', taking great care to make sure each one is standing upright and not wobbly and just as he has finished with the last one, screams out 'SIAH, NO!!!'. To which, I look over and see Josiah crawling straight for this little 'pin' of animals and one proud owner protecting his livestock. I tell Tobin that it will be ok and go and redirect Josiahs attention away from the beloved plastic animals.... Tobin is loving playing these days and has become quite a content little boy. It's so much fun!! Josiah on the other hand has recently become my high maintenance child. The one who I thought was going to be a breeze...haha...this little guy loves his mommy and doesn't like much else. So I spend most my days trying to get him to walk...he would much rather crawl or be carried...and interested in something on the floor. So I can rest, oh, for just a minute. Ah, the joys of motherhood. Now, it's a good thing it's the joys of motherhood and not the happiness of motherhood. For joy is something in the heart and happiness is based on surroundings and feelings. Any mother will know this is true. Not all days or times are happy, but they can be joyful. I have so much to be joyful for, my heart still cannot understand what time of life this is...it's truly amazing and stressing and stretching and fun and tiresome. But oh so worth all of the ups and the downs. What a responsiblity to be a parent. I want to think of it some...but not too much...it's BIG. I'm so thankful that I can glean wisdom from God's Word and from others who have walked thru this before me. I'm so glad that God made us for relationship...with Him and with others. It is so good and refreshing to have friends and those that understand us and love us. To know that we are worth something. Cause, as a mom, I sure do spend a lot of time making sure that my boys know they are loved, understood and worth something. I hope and pray that God will use me to show just a glimpse of His love for them! What tender hearts, innocent and pure. May God keep them!

take 2

Ok...so I typed up a short post...hit the preview link and then the back arrow to edit something...and of course...lost the whole post. AGH!!

I was saying I've been stuck in the web with all the cloth diaper info out there. Very stuck, you might say, as it's been 3 days since my last post. Everytime I would sit down to the computer those saved links would beckon me to search their pages! Alas, nothing has come out of it yet, as my head is full with the numerous items one can purchase for cloth diapering. One day soon, at least that's my plan, I'll know what diapers to purchase for trial!

I really am quite excited about this prospect. Taking me back to the years that I wanted to grow up during the prairie days of this country! :-) I think I always knew that the natural way of living was for me.

We'll have to see where it leads to next! but for now....Goodnight!

random stuff...

The past few days have been quite fast. Not that much has happened or that I've had any amazing thoughts, but life has been good.
We went to the lake this evening with my parents. It was so refreshing, after such a warm day, to spend the last few hours of daylight in the midst of God's creation. To be able to splash in to the lukewarm water and feel its tinge of coolness refresh every inch of skin. There is just something about water...it's so peaceful and calming...and no matter how awake you felt before you dove into it you come out relaxed and ready to curl up in a towel and close your eyes....for just a few moments. Ahh!

oh...but that can't happen...cause my 2 boys are too excited about the boat ride that Pops is taking them on. Tobin especially is captivated by all the things around him. It's so neat to see the world thru his eyes...he has become our commentator on life. You definately won't miss anything with him around...he sees and hears it all. :-) It's really fun......until you repeat the same things back to him for the millionth time, just because he wants to know he's understood, but then, I would miss out on the wonderful view of life he has to offer. It's so simple, exciting and fun. He is growing up... too fast...I never thought it would be this fast. It seems it was only yesterday he was a helpless newborn in my arms, now he is a big boy who wants to go and do and learn by himself. I really didn't think I'd be learning to let go this soon. I guess it's all apart of a process.

We are currently trying to get Josiah to walk. He loves to walk around holding onto someones hand...but he won't take that first step by himself. I really thought that he was going to do so this morning, and I would have had a really exciting blog to write. It will be one day soon...then I will writing about him growing too fast and letting go...hahaha...looks like a pattern is starting to develop. Actually, I think I have let my boys go as much as I can...because they are in God's hands and there they will stay. I know that is the only safe 'place' for them, I definately can't love or protect or discipline like my heavenly Father.

I'm all over the place tonight...just lots of random thoughts flowing thru my mind. I'm trying to get my family living practically and frugally. With that in mind, I'm really considering going to cloth diapers, just at night for awhile, then I might add day times at home. I'm not sure if I can handle it...haha....but I figure it will definately save us money in the long run and it's better for them. So if anyone reading this has any cloth diaper advice...I sure would love to have it! I'm going to start researching how to do this. (I really never thought...I guess my natural side is really starting to take hold even more...haha...that's the reason I'm a hippiemommie)

I think that's enough randomness for tonight. Can't believe the time...and so much still to do. Oh well...goodnight!

thoughts

Life is not wreckage to be saved out of this world but an investment to be used in the world. (Streams in the Desert, pg 296)

Doesn't that shed a whole new purpose on life? We aren't just a bunch of nobodies. We are wanted and needed. Our lives, everyones, means something.

An investment...doesn't that mean you have to give a little bit of something? or stretch something just a bit...I'll look up the real defination...from dictionary.com

1. Property or another possession acquired for future financial return or benefit.
2. A commitment, as of time or support.

Hmm...so I guess that quote could be used in a couple different ways. One, being that Christ invested in us, he conquered death, so that he could benefit us (offering eternal life) and we could benefit Him (living our lives for Him because of His sacrifice). And since He did die for us...our investment to this world would be to tell of it.

WE have a purpose for life and it's not for ourselves. It's strickly living for others. So there's the second defination and use of that quote. A commitment to others. I think that is what everyone needs...someone they know is commited to them...with their time and support and encouragement. And I far as I know, this is a stretch...even for people who love to help others, but especially in our society today when everyone is so focused on their own home and lives and what has to be accomplished to get what they need done, done. So it is a stretching and giving, beyond ourselves.

Wow...what an incredible place this would be if everyone lived with the other person in mind. If we looked at other people as investments instead of ourselves or our lives or our things.

Ok, so in relation to my blog the other day. I think that is where my heart gets mixed up. I don't think of the people in my life (and even those not directly in it) as investments. Or at least, I don't live like they are investments. I think that if I can really ask God to help me view people as investments in the world. Then my life will be a completely free and wonderful thing!

To begin somewhere....

I think I'm still trying to get ahold of my life now, as a wife and mom.

You see, I didn't have much settling into life after we were married, a couple months into it we found out we were expecting, and not quite expecting so much as what occured with the formation of that new life. A few days after our intial Dr. visit, I became very ill..not just your normal pregnancy woahs but the worst you could imagine. With many weekly Drs visits and trip to the hospital. (Might elaborate later.)
So anyway, 11 months after we were married, Tobin arrived to bless our world! He was our little precious bundle straight from heaven and he was perfect! Giving birth to him at home made the experience even better. I think those first few moments are some of the best of my life so far.

Matthew and I were quite enjoying our life 5 months later when we found out Josiah was on the way the next June.
14 months apart.
What?!
That was a hard pill to swallow...life was definately moving in the fast lane for me...or was it the slow lane...as sickness once again had me down...but not nearly as bad this time.

So the months went by trying to capture as much time with Tobin as I could and build our special memories before the next little one arrived. Josiah came into this world much like Tobin, in the comforts of home, and even a week early. He was another precious bundle sent from heaven, sent to add even more dimension to our family!

So now, Tobin is 2 and Josiah is 1. Life is quickly passing by and I feel as if it's leaving me behind. Where do I draw the line between the most precious gifts on earth and the home I would love to make better? The desires that are so far deep within my heart and the desires of my children and husband? And the things I long to accomplish during the day?

Those are the burning questions in my heart. I know the time with my children is the best spent, but there is still a longing there to do more.

As a follower of Christ, I strongly believe that there is a season and a purpose for everything. As weird as it seems, this has been the best and worst season of my life yet. I also believe that I cannot live without my putting trust and faith in God to get me thru this. What a challenge...cause how easy it is for me to try and do this all on my own. And it effects me in major ways...my outlook on life, my attitude towards my family, my responses to things. I know that God has called me to so much more than a bad attitude about my life. I know that deep in my heart and yet, I struggle everyday with letting go of my way of doing stuff. OH, I so know how it is to live life in peace and contentment with where you are....in surrenduring and living, enjoying where you are.

Just another spot along my journey with God, and He's there waiting for me to take this load off of me and give it to Him. That's one thing that I know, God doesn't call me to a life I can't live, only to a life I can live, with Him.

Hmmm...

What does one write for a first post? I wish my mind were filled with prose or discriptive words. Unfortuantely, there's nothing. Will there ever be anything? I guess you will just have to wait and see.